There’s something incredibly happy about being someone to you.
It is not a priority to be a priority for someone to remain in their life. I’ve always believed so. You will definitely mean more to some than to others, but to be content is to know your worth.
I think that that, I’ve finally achieved.
What had snapped me back to reality was the realization that I don’t mean to someone I hold so dear as much as they mean to me. And it really isn’t as bad as I thought.
I had spent long avoiding the fact, too proud to admit even to myself that I wanted to matter. But it suddenly became all right. I would like to matter, yes, but I only have to matter to the person I’m sure to stick by for my entire life: my own self.
The confrontation eased the loneliness. Took it away, even. I am, very contentedly, no longer willing to put effort into gauging my intangible worth to others. It is not an equation to be balanced, after all.
A change of heart is still certainly sad. But it is a part of growth, a part of life.